Accept Yourself

Vance Fulkerson. Where to begin. The head of the Musical Theatre department at UNCO was arrested for filming students peeing in his bathroom. Peeing was one of the many horrible techniques Vance used for belting (Trifecta belts VERY often).

So what does the Trifecta think of our professor being arrested? Well it's quite simple really. DUH! It was BOUND to happen. As was said by a very respectable person in the MT world, I can't believe he wasn't arrested for that god-AWFUL toupee he wore first! I mean it was a crime.

And while the political cartoon above may portray Vance as not having a pot-belly, the Trifecta would like to dispel this rumor. Vance OF COURSE had a huge belly. He just wore a girdle to cover it up. Yes, a girdle. Most everyone could see it when he bent over. Not to mention the thongs all could see to. That just sent everyone racing to make offerings to the porcelain god!

And on Vance's attire. Well, let's just say that his outfit GOT OLD. Everyone always knew how to recognize Vance. I mean, he always wore the same god-awful faded Sweater with holes in it. Or the black polo he would wear (I doubt Ralph Lauren would approve of his clothes being worn like this!). And ALWAYS the clogs he would wear. Oh, those clogs. In the winter the clogs would be replaced with the most tasteless boots you could find.

Let's just say Vance gave gay a bad name. And that's why the Trifecta is here. To try to get back to the gaysics. We want good fashion back on the streets. No more girdles, guys. Those are out. Thongs only in private situations, if ever. Clogs... nough said. Boots if you're doing hardcore manual labor (we try to stay away from manual labor so we don't have to wear the horrible clothes). Wigs or toupees are better left for theatre. Just accept the fact you're balding! There are plenty of men who sport this look WONDERFULLY!! Just look at Vin Diesel. Who can disagree that he is DIVINE?

To leave you with a though: Accept yourself. Whether you be bald, fat, ugly, gay, or a creep, just accept yourself. Although, if you are a creep, just make sure you're not doing anything illegal. The Trifecta doesn't do ANYTHING illegal...

Later!

Corey